To Have a Child is to Have Your Heart Walking Around Outside Your Body Forever

Ever noticed how this saying is so true, but even truer on some days?  Not only are they our heart, they are our pain, joy, happiness and sorrow.  What they feel, we feel.  What they laugh at, we laugh at (well, unless they are laughing at me, then I have to act mad).  When they hurt, we cry, even if they don't. 

I know this will seem trivial to some, however, when you have a child with a dream, small as it is, if he doesn't even get a chance at it, it breaks your heart.  Yes, mine actually hurts right now and I have tears running down my face. . .

Brayton's dream is to run the football at practice or in a game (think back to being that young and your dreams seem huge to you at the time because you really don't have much to dream about at that age).  Last fall in football, there were so many kids out, that the boys were divided up to offense and defense and they pretty much played one position.  Brayton was on defense on the line, so it was not a lot of action for him.

So far, they have only had 2 practices for spring football and the games have been cancelled.  The first practice, he did get to carry the ball.  He cried about it going to bed that night because he fumbled it.  I told him not to worry about it, but after I tucked him in, gave him a kiss and reassured him again, I spoke to Chris in the kitchen.  He told me the whole story.  Yes, he fumbled the ball, but the coach (a grown man who is also a father) had to call out that he thought they could get through all of practice without a fumble.  UGH. 

Tonight was practice #2.  The coaches kids (there are 2) played the whole time in prime positions and Brayton was told he could get out there in the one offensive position, but only because ______ was gone from practice tonight.  After practice Bray practically begs Chris to help him get to carry the ball (we are the parents and we should be able to help, but the politics here in the sports is UNREAL and I HATE politics!!!   UGH ~ again!), but all he can tell him is to keep trying and go and play his best.  I want to scream "WHAT FOR???!  WE AREN'T THE ONES IN CHARGE AND HE WON'T GET TO PLAY", but a quitters attitude is not what we want our kids to have, so we keep cheering them on.

I don't have a skirt and pom-poms, but a cheerleader I am (and Chris is even better at it, despite his sex).  I cheer because I have the slightest hope that one day they'll need someone and Bray can run in and prove what they've been missing out on.  I cheer because I don't want him (or Taite) to have to learn about the injustices in life that are frustrating like this.  I cheer because I'm his mom, damn it, and he's pretty damn great!

(Please note, I don't feel this way only for Brayton, it just so happens that he has this coach and situation, but Taite does not ~ we do lots of cheering for Taite too) :~)