Moving on. . .

Sunday we were out of the house at 9:45 with the dog and all. My friend, Monica, dog sits for almost everyone :~) so she said it was "no problem" to watch Baby while we were gone for 2 days. It went very well (Baby even got used to the Doggie Door ~ she would sneak out when one of the other dogs was headed out because they were so much bigger, she just went under them!) and I am extremely grateful that they watched her!!!

Mom and dad got us kids' hotel rooms so we wouldn't have to go back and forth between the wake and funeral. The boys got to swim a little after the visitation and then we went to Grandma's house for food. My uncle's girlfriend and my mom's cousin made food for the family (it was sooo nice of them and not expected at all!!). It was a nice opportunity to get the family together for a little while. Brayton's new friend is my cousin Stacy's son, Joshua. Too bad they live in Indiana! Brayton kept asking me where India was and I didn't have any idea how to explain that without the globe and when we got home, I figured out he meant "Indiana" NOT "India"!

Sunday was the funeral. I thought I had done enough crying, but I can't help it when I see someone else crying or if I let my mind wander. . . Chris was honored to be the only blood grandson to be a pall bearer (I was too, for that matter!) Grandpa didn't look at all like himself, but my cousin Amanda said he still had the bump on his nose from a fishing incident. You see, when us kids were younger, my mom's siblings would get together every Memorial Day weekend to go fishing at some resort that my Grandma & Grandpa picked out. Of course, it always seemed like they were hours and hours away, but then again, I was young :D At one of these resort weekends, someone had caught a bullhead (fish) and my Grandpa was pretending it was biting his nose (he always had stuff on his nose or was hanging stuff on his ears) only to have the fish clamp down on his nose (it wasn't dead!)!! That was Grandpa! I'll never have another Popsicle without thinking of him either. I remember that from when I was young too ~ Grandpa LOVED Popsicles, so whenever we arrived, he was ready to share :~) * * * sigh* * *

After the funeral, we went to Grandma's house for a little bit and then said our goodbyes. We still had to get the boys to do homework and get everything ready for school today. It worked out that it was perfect timing when we left because we had a little more grieving to do at home. Brayton was working on his homework and having problems with subtraction problems on a review sheet when he started crying. This got me started and we had a little "session" together on the couch. We read a couple of the books his teacher had checked out for our boys. The one book was extremely helpful in that it talked about every aspect of death ~ ways to die (including suicide and murder), feelings you may have and ways you might act or feel like acting. We cried and read and discussed things. At the end of the book, there was a "book" for the child to fill in the blank about the person who died and how they feel about it. I made copies of these pages for Brayton. He filled out some and then told me I could read it if I wanted to. I took it as the offer that he wanted to talk about it. Here are some of the things he felt/said/wrote:

This is my book about: Fuzzy

If I could speak to this person one more time I would say: I love you

I am worried that: something I've done caused this person to die

Brayton also told me he is worried that someone else is going to die. I had no idea this would be so difficult for Brayton even though it's his first real death to deal with. At the wake, I couldn't find him one time and I looked at the casket. Brayton was standing near it, looking in, all by himself. I went and hugged him. I didn't know what else to do ~ I asked him if he had any questions, but he kept saying 'no'. I'm glad we had that time last night to talk about his fears. After being so upset, we let him sleep in the spare bedroom and laid with him while he calmed down and went to sleep. Today, he was rested and got back into his routine with friends and school, so tonight went much better.

Last week I was going through a photo album that I have setting around and saw this picture. It makes me laugh every time I see it! I remember this Christmas photo op very vividly. Chris was traveling for work and I had dressed the boys all up and was determined to get the "perfect" Christmas shot! Well, you can see it didn't exactly work out that way!

This is a picture from last Christmas. My Grandma wanted a picture taken with Grandpa and no one knew it would be the last. . . This is always how Grandpa was dressed (unless he was headed to church) bib overalls :D I have to point out his full head of hair. Many nurses and doctors commented on it when he was in the hospital. We'll always love you!